Thoughts on Burn Out

#burnout #rest

I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His spirit. Ephesians 3:16 NLT

Soooo it turns out I’m a workaholic. I never thought of myself that way prior to 2020. In fact, I prided myself on being a person who worked to live, ie: just make that money, honey. But over the last year I’ve found myself increasingly anxious whenever I wasn’t working, waking up angry after dreaming of work, and consumed with a desire to develop the best reputation at my job. Mind you, I’d already been promoted…. but the maintenance of upholding my own standard in combination with other areas of “greatness” I felt I had to pursue (leading a ministry, being the friend who always gives good advice, being the person who looks out for someone else, etc) left me utterly exhausted…back in 2018 lol. So as you might imagine the mental, emotional and physical fatigue I felt was magnified by the pandemic and the injustices dealt to black and brown people in 2020. To put simply…I was burnt out.

There were days I had to “retire” around 3pm. Just in bed doing nothing, saying nothing. Sometimes daydreaming, other times reeling in a tornado of thoughts good and bad. Eventually I came to this question: How did this happen? I’m supposed to be the person who can handle everything, but I've been tired for years! And I started to think…well, I did a lot these last few years...finished my master's degree, moved a few times, had a kid, led a ministry with my husband that we started from the ground up, got promoted...etc etc.

On paper, I certainly had enough reason to be tired. But there were plenty of people that had double the list I did who were out of bed at 3pm and thriving…so what was wrong with me?

I remembered a conversation with my husband a little while back, in which I was complaining about everything I had to do for our ministry. And he asked me “how many of those things are you doing because God wants you to do them, vs doing them because you want to be great?” And I thought “I do want to be great!”

I am the Lord All-Powerful. So, don’t depend on your own power or strength, but on my spirit. Zechariah 4:6 CEV

I was reminded that whenever I do things in my own strength, even the good things, I will inevitably be tired and giving side eye energy to everyone whether they deserve it or not. And it’s completely unnecessary because the Lord says in his word that he’ll carry my burdens for me. And that I don't have to lean on my own understanding of how things need to happen in life, he'll show me what I need to know and help me do what he wants me to do.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:16 NLT

Soooo what's a recovering burnt out sis to do?

1. Ask God for the strength to get through the day, every day (literally take it one day at a time).

2. Say no more often…or how about, don’t volunteer for things for a season.

3. Focus on what’s really important.

At the end of the day, I have so much to be grateful for, and a lot more life I want to live feeling truly free. So I accept that this journey out of burn out into thriving happens one step at a time, one God-given breath after the other.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for caring more about my being than my doing. Help me remember that you empower me to do all the things, including rest. Allow me to release my anxiety and constant striving. Help me to embrace your peace instead. Amen.

Do you tend to work~work~work~work~work~work too? How do you make time to rest? Would love to hear from you! Create an account and leave me a comment :-)